Being fabulous is the Best Revenge

All Text

There isn't a way to prove to someone that they can do it.
Convincing in an emotional situation leads to untrue decisions.
What are people saying?
The talk of specific instances are translated through,
making me feel predicted.
The last thing I'd hope to be.
Mimicking pasts with him, make me just another, 
instead of "her". 
I should have fought harder. 
Been stronger. 
Because here I am, thinking I'm the different one,
when all other eyes see me as just the next.
..And as much as I'd love to not believe them, 
try to "prove them wrong",
I'm just in denial to myself, about something that will not change.
I hate when I am defeated.
Not because of the competition, yet knowing I can't,
anymore. 
"I'm glad you didn't..." 
False embraces, curdled cream, and balancing ribbon beneath a nail.
"...But I did."


 

Musical experience

For someone to kiss me without makeup on, 
dreams are haunting my thoughts. 
Infomercials and burnt coffee,
the comfortable clothes scattered throughout.
The soundtrack to these joys.

Spontaneous Hope

Remarkably uplifted by glimmers of hope. 
It is easy to get carried away, 
especially by something that is so incredibly wanted. 
Regret-less spaces are bounded by inevitable pain.
This has become so blatantly obvious to me, finally.
Effort is singular, I can't make anyone else put in effort; genuine effort. 
So here I lay, reminiscing on the unimportant, hoping someday someone will appreciate this level of anxiety.

You may not understand me,

...but underneath the layers, I am everything I love to be. 

Messy Haired, Late Mornings

Lunch dates with girlfriends, 
and everything else just to make us smile. 

Words Beneath More Words

This holiday season was particularly overlooked by me this year. 
I feel inspired to write usually when I am feeling some sort of emotion. 
Lately that emotion has been negative, but I hope I'm not portraying my life as a negative one. I have a wonderful life. 

The beauty in marbled strong eyes, 
and goodbye kisses. 
How the thoughts bring wells, somehow. 
Why could this happen? 
Short time with painful words, 
masking the truth beneath.
I'm scared now. 
Because I broke, without intentions.
And I try too much to find something in nothing. 
But that nothing was my something, and it made me happy.
I can't force feelings, 
leaving the mystery of planned futures.
Goodbye...