Do you remember that time, 
when you didn't chose your steps?
Walking, skipping, running, twirling,
Those impressions, that eye color?
Today sinks deeper through trenches of black.
Each heart trying to just make. it. make. it.
Hey you, blonde ocean waves,
Please splash, crash and pour down.
Don't worry; smile, and love the rest,
because that heart still makes it. makes it. 

Journey-full evenings

My life is new.

I am now living in Denver, 

wanting to see every street. 

My days are filled with tempers and coffee,

granola and great dane kisses. 

I have two baby kittens.

They run around and pounce like little lions. 

Reins

I can't begin. 
I can't move on. 
Even in my dreams. 
There is something so little holding me up, 
like a pin, 
As I wander silently.
Brain never stops.
Emotions never rest.
This unending controlling obsession my being has..
is squeezing. 
Don't come back. Stay where you are.
The glow, heartbeats, and twirling sensations;
the tears that fill my eyes just picturing it.
Please.
That experience...
it can't be. 
I don't want to be without that life. 
And this boy.
I find peace in what I know.
This empty calendar is leaving me so blurred,
like distance matched with a bomb.
Just to scream, 
So gut wrenchingly loud.
And to drive somewhere I know, that will just be the same.
Numerous potentials and matched confidence will lead my path. 
Just this moment, has left me exhausted. 
Those dimmed lights, those blue eyes, and that sage honey.
The numbness of reading your words, the perfect house, and my horse that never stops fighting.
it's Gray. and me.

I shouldn't

I shouldn't be thinking this, looking back, and comparing.
The emotional tides have let loose, and here they are back at you. 
Engulfing every ounce of my being in excitement...
Away, there, far, out, gone.
These times. 
I'm going away;
Leaving everything I have ever known, to a place I have never been.
and bringing along the unsure version of my past that is safe. 
I love. 
Blue eyes, soft personality, and willingness. 
Every opposite trench of insecurities, with one word. 
You mark it for me. 
As if this world hasn't ever seen this yielding proof of everlastingness. 
Please, clear this confusion, 
let the water drip quietly behind the lost voices of passion.

I've lost

When I started college, I had so much ambitious drive. 
I would long for the day I could prove myself in this world. 
I knew exactly what I wanted and how I would get there... I just had to finish college first. 
My parents always told me that education is the most important thing. 
I understand and believe this too, in a sense.
That everyday running drive I had has faded into a hum of 'What am I doing?'
The greatest that could have come from pursuing that feeling might have been grand, grander than the accomplishments yet to come of me. 
I'm expected. 
Every hour I think about how I will overcome obstacles, and the most realistic way. 
I want to turn these dreams into reality, but I haven't got the passion I used to have. 
Being young and trying to prove yourself in an adult world is tough, but I'm sad with myself that I gave in.  
You'll hear more from me, this isn't my end. I just wonder what could have been. 
And everlasting at that. 

This life

It's been months, 
and I'll tell you why. 
There was an emptiness filled with want
of a thing I now wouldn't choose. 
And I feel a different sense of inspiration, 
through love.  
I often wonder why this horse came into my life. 
He's strong and ambient, but very scared. 
His past has hurt him, he trusts in me, and I love him. 
This unsure time in deciding my future has really made me question God's intention with him. 
I know I am right with him, but he makes me afraid for him.
Maybe that is his purpose in itself, to have something I can't control. 
This path will all be clear someday.

You throw your head back laughing,

Can we step back and breathe, 

just for a second. 

That humming behind the thoughts of insecurity.

It's there. 

Marching triumphantly through these hours awaiting, 

the inevitable has come, dahling. 

Just spin as fast as you can, 

and then collapse. 

Because staying here, pretending, just being here;

it's all a lie. 

The difficulty behind words without true meaning. 

The labels.

This general. 

It doesn't exist. 

We decide upon others, what we need to put on ourselves, 

but this zing of gold, shatters of glass, and overgrown ends is 

quite honestly ruling peace. 

My sink drips.

The clips hold what you want to stay, 

force it to stay, do it. Do it. Do it.

But why?

Leave, please just leave. 

Don't look back over through this clouded window, the drips of water sliding through the backdrop of an undecided future, 

Cling to that of hope, and run.

Handlebar scuffs, pointed toes, and those guarded smiles. 

Fly away, butterfly.