Craving Change

I am here for my dear, 

thinking insight fully about words that can help. 

I want to grant this week away, 

as bad as it seems.
Stress levels from multiple sources are stinging my eyes when closed. 

I think that this town screams "Run away and find yourself".

Yet, I feel so different then I did 3 years before.
Have I "found myself" already?

Probably not.
I plan, plan, plan, plan, plan down to every last detail, 

only out of excitement.
But I think I ruin the actual excitement when the moment comes. 

I have an adorable kitty, 

who bites when she's mad, plays when she's hyper, and cuddles when she loves.

Maybe we should all be more like her. 

Piano music and bun tied hair

This Thursday has been refreshingly beautiful.
Yes, it is raining outside, but my windows are cracked to hear the rain.
My heart feels lightened and brave. 
I wish all the world this feeling. 

I wander because I am lost.

Why am I doubting the only person I was certain about,
and taking this emotional roller coaster ride through past experiences,
that should have long passed.
It's been months. 
Day after day, I question. 
Care. 
I don't want to hold onto this anymore.
I want to break free and find (it). 
Is it me?